Friday, September 26, 2008

disambiguation

Thursday night was the first night I'd played any music since last Friday.  It was, to say the least, intense.

This entire process has been a continual stripping away.  The actual stripping away and peeling away and evaluating my art on a 'what is necessary' level began in 2002, but the body aspect began in ernest only 4 years ago.  But the intensity has changed over the years, and, I realize now, that this process is ongoing.  The process is the art, and it is not really explanatory.  What I am also realizing is that this process effects others as well, not just me.  Lets start with the music part:

When I play with other musicians, it is as though we enter into a really strange little contract.  There is a certain amount of trust that is going on,  a trust that we will follow each other (or not) and take care of ourselves(or disappear), give support if that is best (or not) and, in the end, be okay with the outcome, for good or ill.  To play with someone is to accept the absolute possiblity of failure.  Sure, most of the time, the worst is an apathetic response of "eh, it was alright", much like a bad date that you decided to go just a little to far with; "eh, I don't regret it, but, I won't be asking them out again."  And sometimes, you just try an experiment on stage that just doesn't work.  Sometimes, though, sometimes you get lucky, and it just works.  It just flows.

Thursday night was an interesting night of music, to say the least.  It was a beepwhrr night, to be sure, and I was generating a storm of sine tones unlike any I'd made in the past.  I was no longer after pure tone, clear and traveling.  I was interested in beat, and rumble, and breaking up stagnation through persistence.  I was playing to match texture, and pitch, and, where necessary, break that idea up a bit.  I had intentended to combine it with the Box, but, given my abdominal bruising at the moment that was a bit uncomfortable to play, to say the least.  No dampening of sounds, not to mention not being able to use my forearms in playing— it was just a bit too much to deal with at the moment.  So I played laptop with a few scratches on the box from time to time, and my duo- my duo went new places.  It was, to say the least, persistant.

Friday morning I listened to it.  A little reminescent of Rapoon, Scanner, and other ambient musics overly influenced by industrial music of the mid to late '90's, though it was still nice.  I am usually against documentation, this particular project was still good- a lot of the intense energy we had generated actually translated through in the recording.  This brings me back to my point- some times, when the music is right and the team is right, it is just on.  Last night, it was on, and, it was different.  I am so very happy to have a marker for this moment, this moment of sonic clarity.  They are rare, moments when we speak clearly without the ego and without the garbage.  I'm happy that it was recorded, if for no other reason than there were no lies in what I played last night.

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