Morning 2 of Fast

Breakfast, juice consisting of:

Ginger

Apple

Grape

I've fasted before.  This time it is different.  It's always easier to fast when you have an actual reason to.  I've never done well with your general detox fast, unless I am totally stressed out and trying to stop the migraines and other ailments from taking over.  This time is different- I have a concrete goal, a desire to succeed.  I know that I should be working on other projects this week, focusing on the mountains of reading I have to do by November 15, fixated on the notion that I just have to get through this week, and then I can focus on work.  This isn't exactly true- somehow, this weekend I need to read 600 pages or so of Neuroscience, Acoustics and anatomy texts and be prepared to discuss them by Tuesday of next week.  

The second day is always my favorite.  There is a weird sort of reaction that happens in my head, when I hit a point and am no longer hungry and my head tells me that food is an addiction, and like all addictions it can be conquered.  

When I was a body piercer, I used to never work on people who hadn't eaten that day, knowing that 9 out of 10 people would have serious shock type symptoms after a piercing.  I am beginning to wonder what the benefits are of fasting before hand.  A friend of mine says it is about less bleeding, and then I realized his idea of a fast includes no water.  No, I think it is so that the spiritual aspects of this particular suspension artist (the woman at the helm, guiding me on my journey) are fulfilled.  I remind myself that this is a simple little thing, nothing major.  

The thing about anything like this is this:  It is never the event itself that is important.  What is truly important is the information, the flow,and the direction leading into it, and the subsequent journey out of it.  It is not the means of the transmission, but the overall effect on the person after the fact.  Yes, for the onlooker, it is the event that matters.  This morning I have Marshal McLuhan in my head saying over and over "the medium is the message" and want to ask him exactly what he means by that.  Well, I suppose that is true, as my body is the medium, and, in the end, the overall impact is on my own body perception, and wondering if I can see beyond the body or if it is something that cannot be gone beyond.

A few weeks ago I was playing music with a friend of mine.  His love for what he did was so apparent, so pure.  He reminded me why I started making music, how I used to be so angry when people would address my work purely in terms of the body.  I have allowed the world to dictate the use of my body, and perhaps this is one means in which I can reclaim it.  I am not sure.  I am not sure that reclaiming or if offering it entirely to art is my goal.  Personally, I want to see what is beyond the body, beyond the gloves, beyond the objects that we touch and see.  So  many approach this idea by going head on into denial, avoiding any interaction, reaction, contact with the body.  Denial, abstinence, these things have never been a strong suit of mine.  I believe that going into this fully, taking on the body full force, may yield some interesting results.  Of course, everyone when they hear suspension goes immediately to StelArc and other artist who work with electricity (Huge Harry), but that really isn't necessarily what I am after.  Maybe it is, only time, research, and practice will tell.